A month or so ago I finally talked to my husband about something that had been on my mind for a long time. After all the work we have done individually to make our lives new and different and better, and the way we have waited patiently for one another in order to heal this marriage thing…
I think I want a new ring.
There are some fears that come with being honest about this.
-Maybe I’m moving too quickly in the healing process and I will be misunderstood.
-Maybe he will move too quickly in the healing process and go purchase a ring I don’t like.
-Maybe he will want to go look at rings immediately and push me into choosing something.
-Maybe we shouldn’t spend money on jewelry.
-Maybe he will think I’m ridiculous to want a new ring.
-Maybe, maybe, maybe…
If there’s one thing I have learned about life, it is that honesty wins.
Even if the words are difficult to say or hear, in the end honesty wins.
So, I was honest.
I expressed my fears and he understood, agreeing to give me space and time to look at rings and figure out what I would like to wear on my finger for the next twenty-six years.
As I sat in a jewelry store last week trying ring after ring after ring and saying, “Nope, nope, nope,” the saleswoman, Mama Rafi, said to me, “You are like a ninja. You say No! No! No! (as she made chopping and blocking motions with her arms) because you KNOW.
You may not know what you want YET but you do know what you don’t want.
You keep looking and DON’T SETTLE!
I don’t ever want to settle for less than what truly speaks to my heart in any area of my life. The problem is, I don’t always know exactly what I want, which make me feel stuck. Oh so stuck!
As I ponder the ring situation I realize… I already know the answers. It’s a matter of wading through all the things that I don’t want until I finally come to the thing that I do want. When I try something out, if I don’t love it… I don’t actually have to settle for it just because it is available. I get to say, “No thanks, this isn’t quite what I have in mind.”
Maybe it’s not about knowing what you want… but figuring out what you don’t want.
At some point in my life, I decided to stop settling for less and although it hasn’t been an easy road it has been worth it!
So in the words of Mama Rafi, be a ninja!
You have the power to make your life what you would like it to be.
Why not give it a try?