grateful in the midst of sadness

Today I am grateful for memories.

December is a rough month. Throughout my adult life, I’ve lost three very important people during December and I miss them ever so much.

My Grandma Marie left this world on Christmas Eve 1989. Every Christmas Eve her house was filled with family. When I arrived, she would be in the kitchen cooking and would send me to her china hutch to get the dishes and start setting the table. I remember feeling so grown up and important that she trusted me with her beautiful white and silver dishes. 

Four years later on December 11, Grandpa Jack made his exit out of this world. As a young mother, I remember the emptiness I felt that my children would never know these two amazing people. They would never see them dance together in the kitchen while grandma baked a cake for dessert. They would never get to go camping with them in their motor home or watch from the kitchen window while Grandpa refilled bird feeder. 

Five years ago, on December 21, my mom (their daughter), made her way to join them. This year, childhood memories of decorating the house with her have been flooding into my heart. Flocked Christmas trees filled with big red glass ornaments, the plastic nativity scene (it is, gratefully, now in my home) which she allowed me to carefully put up, setting the baby Jesus aside to put into the manger on Christmas Eve, the adorable porcelain baby angels that we would ever so carefully arrange on a billowy carpet of spun glass angel hair. 

Beautiful memories. Beautiful moments. Beautiful people.

I am grateful.

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