my love affair

Over the last several months I have become increasingly unhappy.

I’ve had to start wearing my ‘fat’ jeans (admit it, you have those too) and they are not terribly comfortable. I change into sweats and a loose shirt the minute I get home. And I continue to wear shorts with elastic to work despite the fact that it’s getting cold outside. I have gained weight and it feels awful.

The raw truth is, I have a lover… Food. 

I turn to my lover for many reasons. For comfort. Out of boredom. Because it’s there. To not waste. For “mealtime.” To not miss out. To get my share. And my all time favorite, to say goodbye… For tomorrow healthy eating begins.

It is impossible to simply cut all ties with this lover, and it’s impractical to think that pure discipline can be upheld long term.

If I can’t leave my lover, how am I gonna ever stop this crazy cycle?

Change my heart… Redirect my heart toward someone that is actually able to love me in return.
My Heavenly Father.
He is the only one able to fill that void.

How? I don’t know. But I do believe the words of Jesus, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Since I have experienced this in other areas of my life, I will trust this promise is just as true when it comes to my relationship with food.

I am grateful.


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