the beast

Weeks ago when I reserved the youth center for the week in order to strip and wax floors, I knew it was going to be a difficult day. A day of fighting “the beast.”

The beast is old. I’m not certain, but it looks like it came straight out of the 1960’s when they built things to last. And last it has…

During the summer when I was taught how to use this machine I was given a little physics lesson, which of course I ignored because there is just no space whatsoever in my brain that cares about physics. I then proceeded to use brute force to try and operate this ancient “hovercraft.” The more I tried to control it, the more pain my shoulders, arms and hands experienced. 

Today I tried something different. I did my best to remember two simple rules. Pull up to go right and forward. Push down to go left and backward. There’s really no controlling the machine but when I followed those rules, it was easier.

It’s the same in my life.

My name is Terri, and I am a control freak. 

I like to think I am a recovering, but I still struggle DAILY with wanting to make things happen the way they should (in my humble opinion) happen. The thing is, the more I try to control things, the more complicated and difficult life becomes. No one is capable of running everyone’s lives, not even me! 

The truth is, the only person I can control is me. And, I can be certain that unexpected circumstances will come up that alter my plans. 

When I can remember these truths, it becomes easier to accept the decisions of others (even when I disagree) and to find my balance when things in my own life feel out of control.

I am grateful.

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