We went on a walk one evening not long ago. It was a beautiful day and I had been gone all weekend. Since there were a few hours of daylight left and the air was still pleasantly warm, we walked the neighborhood.
We didn’t talk about anything specific… Certainly not about any of the things I’d like to talk about in order to get to know each other (because in some ways it feels like we are still strangers, even after 25 years of marriage), instead we caught each other up on the weekend activities.
He is essentially deaf in one ear, so in order for him to hear me, I have learned to walk on his right and often times I end up being in the street rather than near the curb.
In another time… Back when men were chivalrous and women expected it, perhaps this would have been unheard of. To be honest, a few years ago I didn’t even know it mattered to me.
But. It. Does.
I don’t want to be the one on the street side.
I want to be protected.
Then… Something happened.
He realized I was in the street and he said something like, “Why don’t we cross the street so I can protect you.”
It took a minute for the words to sink in. Did he really say that? I don’t think I ever even told him that mattered to me, which means he learned it on his own… Which means he is trying to learn about my heart and just how I tick.
I was stunned.
The words out of my mouth were, “That was different.”
It WAS different.
Truly different. And refreshing.
My heart is still trying to process. It is foreign, these ways he is changing. It’s a little hard to believe and even harder to trust that it will last.
Little by little, stone by stone, this Great Wall of protection around my heart is starting to come down.
It’s not Jerico.
It definitely is not happening fast. I’m not sure that’s possible. But today I have just a little more hope for the future.
I am grateful.