I’m curious…

“What is your biggest fear and how would your life change if you were to overcome it?” That’s what the group leader asked us to share. Seriously?? THAT is a big question.

If you know me at all, you know that in the last year or so I have tried to intentionally live my life according to the message which is permanently inscribed on my wrist, 

fear not”

And yet… I am often afraid. 

What if I fail?

I’ve been afraid to try new things, even things that my heart longs to experience. What if I get it wrong? What if I look stupid? What if someone laughs at me? 

I’ve been afraid to dream… afraid to even think about the things that I might like to do with my life… afraid to be passionate about doing something of value with my life. What if people don’t like my idea? What if I don’t make enough money to pay the bills? What if it’s not original or unique enough? What if it doesn’t make a difference?

I’ve been afraid to allow certain walls to come down from around my heart.  What if I get hurt again? What if it “proves” (to my wounded self), once again, that I am not enough, that I am undeserving, that I am not worthy of love? 

Ultimately, I am afraid to take chances because I don’t know if I will succeed. I’m afraid to fail.

WHAT IF I learned to accept failure as part of the process of growing and changing?
WHAT IF I assumed that people think good of me unless I know otherwise?
WHAT IF I stopped worrying about what other people think?
WHAT IF I remembered that my value is inherent because of my loving Creator and doesn’t rely on how anyone treats my heart?

What if I replaced all my fears of the unknown with curiosity?

My life would open up into a new world… A new world full of enjoyment and frustrations, adventure and challenge, laughter and tears, deep love and heartache.

THAT is the life I want to live.

So I will intentionally open my mind and my heart to face the world with fearless curiosity.

I will seek to try, fail then try again. And again. And again. And again.

I am grateful for a courageous heart.

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